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Are These Phrases Hate or Slang?

February 22, 2007
by Derek J. Moore

A civil trial centered on a former Maria Carrillo High School student's use of the phrase, "That's so gay," is resonating on campuses across Sonoma County where it's not often clear what qualifies as offensive or bigoted language.
The case has sparked debate not only on the use of "That's so gay" but on many widely used slang terms that some say are hate speech and others call typical teenage talk.
Other examples include "How retarded," "That's so ghetto" and "He's so psycho." A new one that has cropped up on campuses is "That's so Jewish," which students seem to equate with someone who is weak or cheap.
Finding consensus on how much of a problem these phrases constitute and what can be done in response is difficult.
A case in point: Nimai Marsden, a senior at Piner High School, said she does not see any particular harm in saying, "That's so gay" to describe something she doesn't like.
"Everybody says it. It just comes out. We don't mean it to be offensive," she said Wednesday.
But classmate Justin Elder, a member of the school's Gay-Straight Alliance club, disagreed.
"I've been around gay friends when someone says, 'That's so gay' and it hurts them," he said.
About 20 students in Jessica Dennis' journalism and English courses gathered in her Piner High classroom at lunch Wednesday. They were among students at several Sonoma County schools who were asked for their thoughts on campus slang in light of the controversial court case.
Kathy and Elden Rice of Santa Rosa sued the Santa Rosa school district and three Maria Carrillo High staff members in 2003 after their then-15-year-old daughter, Rebekah, was disciplined for saying "That's so gay" in her freshman humanities class. The suit, which also alleges harassment and discrimination, seeks monetary damages and the removal of the incident report from the teen's record.
The case, now being argued in a Sonoma County court, has exposed the complexities behind the use of campus slang as well as a lack of uniform rules at county schools.
Doug Bower, associate superintendent of the Santa Rosa district, declined comment, citing the trial, as did Maria Carrillo Principal Mark Klick, who is testifying in the case this week.
But interviews with students and teachers reveal confusion over when a phrase, such as "That's so gay," crosses a line.
Martin Webb, principal at Analy High School, said his sixth-grade son's use of the phrase drives him "crazy."
"I try to explain to him that it's not appropriate but it's in the vernacular," Webb said.
He said the school does not have a specific policy on such slang, but it could fall under sexual harassment rules.
Rick Phillips, director of the Santa Rosa-based Community Matters school program, said the key for him as to whether something is offensive is the intent.
"The gray area is when you say, 'That's so gay' or 'That's retarded,' and you're making kind of a glib comment," said Phillips, whose program deals with campus tolerance. "What is the intent of that language and who's saying it?"
Jennifer Holladay, director of the Teaching Tolerance Project with the Southern Poverty Law Center, said such a phrase as "That's so gay" is offensive on its face and should not be used.
"Kids aren't running around saying 'That's so heterosexual,'" she said.
But Holladay acknowledged how muddled this can get when people start to embrace historically pungent terms, such as "dykes" or "queer," ostensibly to minimize their power. She pointed to, as one example, the "Dykes on Bikes" in San Francisco's annual Gay Pride parade.
Students say they are confused.
Said Piner senior Nadia Marsden, Nimai's twin sister: "Gay has become synonymous with 'lame' or 'stupid,' but our community isn't homophobic."
The term "lame," in fact, is listed as "biased language" by the tolerance project. Some might question whether that's erring too far on the side of political correctness.
"We don't want to legislate language," Holladay said. "We have the First Amendment for a reason. But the goal has to be creating a safe and inclusive environment where every student can learn to the best of his or her ability."
Once it's agreed that a certain word or phrase is offensive, deciding what, if any, punishment is in order for violators becomes another test.
"I'd like to say that it's wrong and it's not correct, but I don't think you could actually get someone in trouble for using a specific word. I don't know if that would work," said Kelly O'Grady, a senior at Petaluma's Casa Grande High School.
But Gina Gunn, a junior at Casa Grande, said if teachers are going to punish students for using profanity, they should also punish kids for saying things like "That's so gay."
"I think it's an issue that needs to be confronted," she said. "I don't think it should be something that should be easily bypassed."
Teachers also are divided.
Dennis said she's one of the few Piner teachers who kicks students out of class for using profanity or loaded phrases. She's also been known to confront students on campus when she hears them using such language.
"I think it's important for them (students) to know there is a time and a place," she said. "I often feel like I'm the only teacher who enforces that."
At Ursuline High School north of Santa Rosa, teacher Jennifer Gray metes out detention and essays for students who use words she deems derogatory, including the phrase, "That's so gay."
She estimates that in seven years she's given detention to as many as 25 students and assigned essays seven times. That included the child of one of the school's administrators.
The unofficial policy is one she strongly believes in.
"I tell them I will not have any child feel awful in my classroom because they are gay. Period," Gray said. "I tell them that one day each of them will love someone, a family member, a friend, a co-worker, who is gay and then they will see that the issue is simply about being human."
Natasha Richardson said she was assigned a 1,000-word essay during her sophomore year at Ursuline after she blurted out "That's so gay" when Gray assigned homework.
The lesson stuck - mostly.
"I could see how someone who is gay would see how that could be hurtful or could put them down," said Richardson, now a senior. "Now I try to say, 'That's so lame,' or, 'That sucks.' But it still pops out."